This essay argues for a materialist perspective on Artificial Intelligence [AI]. It explores the specific characteristics of “intelligence” within AI, understood as a mechanical reproduction of human and nonhuman intelligences. It is one more contribution to the chatter about AI permeating the proverbial airwaves. While it is difficult to track data on the number of scholarly publications about AI, there is an abundance of statistics on the amount of AI-generated journalism. The profusion of reporting on and by AI suggests that there is universal agreement on the definition of “an intelligence.” Far from it. Techno-determinists concoct apocalyptic futures based on the black box of “intelligence,” in which superintelligences take over the world. A black box is an organic or artificial system in which the inputs and outputs are known, but fundamental internal workings are unknown. The core functions of things like the gene, human brain, mental health, intelligence, mind, and consciousness are unidentified in their entirety: they are black boxes upon which entire disciplines and treatments have been built.